Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance has a new trailer....

Hi folks,

Early word of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is not kind but another trailer has come out. Take a look at the flaming Nic Cage madness here.

It's looks more exciting that the first one. The shot that's kinda sold me on seeing it at lest though is this.

SHOOT IT AGAIN! MY SOUL IS STILL DANCING!!!

Yep. Business as usual for Mr Cage. 2012 looks like another year of silliness from you.

I'm gonna be THE KING OF FIGHTERS on Boxing Day - please don't try this at home,,,

Hi kids,

Need something special on Boxing Day? There's Kill List and it's a mindf**k of a British genre film but that might disturb Grandad.

I know, you need this!

Yes, it's true. It's damn true. THE KING OF FIGHTERS comes out on DVD / Blu-Ray in the UK on Boxing Day.

Pity it's a pile a shit - if you fancy a laugh, Ray Park proves why he shouldn't be speaking in front of camera with big shaggy coats, lovely hats and a skate board.

There's a lesbian scene....but I can't think of anything more substantial to this grand crap-tacular. Before you ask, yes I do owe this but at least it has some rewatchability for the sheer terrible plot line and Last Airbender race changing with Sean Faris being a young asian boy before becoming American actor. Worth drinking and sniggering at - and I don't even play King of Fighters.

Least it's not Bangkok Andrenaline.

Cinematic Dramatic 3x09 - Listen NOW!

The latest episode of Cinematic Dramatic, from Geek Planet Online, is now available to download.

Click the Cinematic Dramatic logo to listen to the new episode

Pirates of The Carribean: On Stranger Tides (2D / 3D we don't care) and The Hangover Part 2 get reviewed in this episode!

Cinematic Dramatic 3x08 - Listen Now!

The latest episode of Cinematic Dramatic, from Geek Planet Online, is now available to download.

Click the Cinematic Dramatic logo to listen to the new episode

Thor, Hanna and Attack The Block get reviewed by myself and Byron Pitt. Plus in What We've Watched, we talk about classic Sydney Lumet with 12 Angry Men, oddball Scharwzenegger in Last Action Hero. Plus some of the latest cinema releases like Priest 3D, 13 Assassins and Summer Wars.

Quick Movie Reviews Go!

Hey all. Sorry I’ve haven’t posted for a while, I’ve mostly been helping Kitacon run another kick-ass anime convention up in Birmingham and also been covering Kapow for Geek Planet Online. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t watched some films recently. Here is some brief nuggets of Genre-Giant wisdom.

Rio (2D Version) (2011)

Director: Carlos Saldanha

Stars: Jessie Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Jamie Foxx, George Lopez

Domestic bird put in a place he can’t handle. Yep, it’s the good old fashion fish out water storyline. Just with birds and set in Rio. Despite some lovely looking animation and solid voice work from Eisenberg, Hathaway and even Flight of The Concords Jermaine Clement, Rio is just lazy with a formula we’ve seen in countless films; animated or not.  Talented the vocal cast is at singing, the musical touches don’t help it fly from its stale generic birdcage either.

Hop (2011)

Director: Tim Hill

Stars: Russell Brand, James Marsden, Hugh Laurie, David Hasselhoff

The moment when James Marsden is revealed as the first human Easter Bunny, the words that came out of my mouth were “seriously?”  This hybrid animated live action fest is a weird creature indeed. Easter Bunny to be, E.B (Brand), doesn’t want to be Easter Bunny and goes to Hollywood to become a famous drummer. Jobless James Marsden accidentally runs him over and hilarity begins. Er, kinda of. Hop is marginally better than Rio simply because Marsden move into comedic roles like Sex Drive, Death At A Funeral Remake, and Enchanted to name a few has been entertaining to see so watching prattle about again for 90 minutes isn’t a bad thing.  Oh yeah and that Russell Brand meta moment where actor and animated character meet might have been an attempt to blow the kids tiny mind when in fact it’s just weird. That word perfectly sums up what I think of Hop.

Cave of Forgotten Dreams 3D (2010)

Director: Werner Herzog

This is my first encounter of a Herzog documentary so I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. His subject for Cave of Forgotten Dreams is the recently discovered centuries old artwork in The Chauvet Caves in southern France. Armed with 3D cameras, he succeeds in showing off these fascinating drawings and on the other hand, completely alienates me with his barking mad metaphors. Those with Herzog experience will be happy, newcomers might get a little confused at the 3D albino crocodile bobbing in front of your eyes.

Your Highness (2011)

Director: David Gordon Green

Stars: Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschannel

On paper, it sounds like it could have been a laugh. However, when that proposed idea is taking a mystical fantasy quest and putting a swear word in every spout of dialogue, I’m not pleased. There are some genuine chuckles in this farce but again it’s all about being crude with the humour. It’s all about the sex jokes, the fart jokes, people swearing over and over again thinking it’s always funny.  It might be from the same talent as Pineapple Express, but Pineapple Express was an Apatow clan film. Tells you something, doesn’t it? You want a fantasy quest film with actual humour; check out The Princess Bride instead. This will infuriate many.

I did also check out Scre4m (or Scream 4) (which briefly I'll say here that I liked it...a lot) and will get a full in-depth review posted up soon.

Now if you excuse me, I have to go see Winnie The Pooh! That honey junkie fiend

Can you smell The Rock going Faster?

Faster (2010)

Director: George Tillman Jr.

Stars: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Billy Bob Thornton, Oliver Jackson-Cohen

It was only a matter of time before Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson decided to return to the action fold. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s creditable for someone who started out as a wrestler looking to stretch his acting skills a little. Southland Tales, Be Cool to name a few plus those silly kid films, Dwayne’s been using that great charisma and presence in different ways.

But everyone just wants to see him kick ass. He’s back for Wrestlemania in April so it’s about damn time he returned to layeth the smacketh down. And with April nearly here, you’ve got two barrel loads of his action skills. First up is Faster.

Though to call Faster an action film is an outright lie. It’s more of a revenge thriller with a perpetual sense of continuous movement.

From the first moment you see Johnson’s Driver pacing about angrily in his jail cell, you get that theme of always going forward in the revenge tale. Within moments, he gets out of jail and just starts jogging down desert roads to find a car and a swish looking snub revolver. Then Driver goes to layeth the smacketh down on those who’ve wronged him and killed his brother in the process years ago.

While Driver goes off on this vengeful rampage, there’s a Cop (Billy Bob Thornton) trying to follow the murderous crime spree and also a Killer (Jackson-Cohen) a multi-millionaire who has decided to excel himself at bumping people off. They start tracking Driver’s movements and eventually like all good revenge films, their paths will cross.

Now while I don’t mind an array of colourful and OTT characters in this sort of B-movie fluff, the fact that these are three very different characters makes it a bit of an oddity. You have Johnson who is supposed to be the real driving force of the movie, the wronged man committing acts of horrific violence against those who wrong him and seemingly satisfied he’s walking the dark path. Thorton is a ex-junkie cop who’s days near to retirement and trying to provide for his family. And Jackson-Cohen seems to be emitting a mid-life crisis for a billionaire who’s done everything and wants to satisfy his ticks before marrying his beautiful girlfriend. The balance of characters is just weird here in this triangle.

There is this theme of redemption and forgiveness that runs throughout and that’s fine here. But I still think the mixture of these three characters is a little too much.

I personally would have liked to see things just kept focused on Johnson and it would have been a great dark revenge thriller. Johnson has the presence and his small amount of dialogue lets him convey emotion more visually in his facial reactions and he’s still the best of the WWE bunch to ever grace the big screen. It’s a nice role to get him back into the genre we all know he belongs in.

While I’ve got no issue with Thornton’s presence, only to add some sort of gravitas to a usually cardboard character, and while I know that Jackson-Cohen’s British hitman might grate some people, Faster would have worked so much better focused on one character. Driver, it’s actual main character.

Faster is visually pleasing and it has its entertaining (even though predictable) moments but when the main character has to play third fiddle to the other characters, it seems a bit diluted in the end and the revenge tale becomes somewhat like a weird urban dream.

Well, on the plus side, it isn’t named Faster: Action Revenge Film like Dwayne’s next production.

Archipelago - The Middle Class activity of watching paint dry...sort of....

Archipelago (2011)

Director: Joanna Hogg

Stars: Tom Hiddlestone, Kate Fay, Amy Lloyd

I’m going to come out and say it right now, I don’t know who out there would enjoy Archipelago. I don’t know anyone close who I could recommend it too and when people at work have asked me about it, I put on a brave smile and say it’s “interesting.”

Only during two scenes does Archipelago becomes “interesting” but when the majority of the film you’re put as a standing observer to the breakdown of this middle class family and their issues, you don’t really feel engaged in the film.

And I’m not trying to say that Archipelago is bollocks because it isn’t and I know that people out there have had different reactions to it. A friend of mine is quite to say that film is subjective and everyone’s viewing experience is different.

We differ here already. Byron Pitt can’t stop thinking about it. I’m trying to recall what actually happened.

This is a very very very slow film and is designed for viewers who have patience with their cinematic screenings. I am perfectly fine with slow burning films providing that there is something to be engaged with. 

For me, I just don’t get it with Archipelago.  There are interesting themes of class between the social interactions of Tom Hiddlestone’s Edward character with the hired chef Rose (played by Amy Lloyd ) and Edward’s family turning their nose up at the simple request of asking a hired hand to eat with them. There’s also difficult family dynamics of broken communication and the eventual realization that the words unsaid and actions unseen speak more than the simple conversation over dinner.

Now if this is your thing, Archipelago is something to reap in. Byron Pitt has found elements to draw out and think about. My trouble is that the slow pace, the unlikeability of nearly every character and the fact that not much seems to go on is the nail in the coffin to me. I would have been open to the film more if I felt more connected to the characters and the scenario. 

But however simplistic and beautifully minimalistic Joanna Hogg has presented this film, I simply cannot connect. only during two heated conversations during a family trip to a deserted restaurant and at their holiday home debating the future of one of the members of the family does Archipelago become interesting. Perhaps if it was staged for the theatre it might have been a more rewarding viewing and its themes more accessible to take in and evaluate.

However, when it’s nearly two hours long and very isolated to its own devices, I rather be somewhere else than dealing with this troubled and miscommunicated family.

Iain's Movie Pet Hates - The Renaming of English speaking Films for English audiences.

I was at work yesterday where another delivery of film related posters came in to be opened, sorted, and put up if they were important.  One tube I opened up had a poster for Fast Five, as everyone knows by know the fifth Fast and Furious film. But low and behold what those clever buggers at Universal Pictures have done….

Fast Five has been renamed Fast and Furious 5: Rio Heist

HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE WE SUPPOSE TO BE?

They’ve released teaser trailers saying Fast Five and then suddenly one day in the marketing office suddenly hit a block in the road.

Marketing Executive 1: “Hang on folks! Brainwave! The British….they don’t know what Fast Five means? How are they supposed to know it’s the fifth Fast and Furious film set in Rio where Vin and co are doing a massive heist?”

Marketing Executive 2: “Call it Fast and Furious 5: Rio Heist?”

Marketing Executive 1: “You smart bastard! That’s perfect!”

This is what pisses me off half the time when it comes to releasing films in other English speaking countries. The changes sometimes just don’t make any bloody sense what so ever.

Live Free or Die Hard was changed to Die Hard 4.0 – why? Are we not clever enough to notice through the trailers and marketing that it was about computer hackers?

The Rundown was changed to Welcome To The Jungle – why? Are we not supposed to know what a rundown is? You know, running down the important information? Do we need a title to know that we’re going to a jungle in this film?

I mean even Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone changing to The Sorcerer’s stone sounds silly. I bet American audiences would have the smarts to understand the world Philosopher. 

Okay, if said film is foreign in a non-English language speaking form, then yes renaming the film can help sometimes. 

But why? Oh gods, why, are we considered such muppets that Fast Five is renamed to the most simplest of titles.

Hollywood clearly thinks we’re stupid.

Cinematic Dramatic Catch up!

Hi all,

It's been a while I know, mostly because real life work, convention work, and podcast work seems to over rule each other at some point over the last two weeks.

I'll have a review coming soon, just now for the time being, you can catch up on the Cinematic Dramatics that you might have missed. 

As usual, click the logos to go to the episode page. Enjoy!

Cinematic Dramatic 3x01 - Best Worst Movie and Troll 2

Cinematic Dramatic 3x02 - Drive Angry 3D / Byron Pitt Vs The Oscars

Oscars tomorrow...I've scribbled things down!

Hi all,

As we know, tomorrow is Oscar night in Hollywood. Everyone's having their two cents or pennies about who will win. So it's our turn at Cinematic Dramatic.

Not sure on what Byron's thinking on the awards are but I've made my selections.

Click The Cinematic Dramatic logo to see the awards video!

Cinematic Dramatic 2x25 - Listen Now!

The latest episode of Cinematic Dramatic, from Geek Planet Online, is now available to download.

Click the Cinematic Dramatic logo to listen to the new episode

Animal Kingdom, True Grit and Paul all get The Dramatic review treatment as well. Byron's also checked out Biutiful...which he won't be getting the three hours of his life watching it back. I also check out, out of morbid childhood cruiousity, Yogi Bear.

Well, Byron did tell me not to watch Biutiful!

Cinematic Dramatic 2x24 - Listen Now!

The latest episode of Cinematic Dramatic, from Geek Planet Online, is now available to download.

Click the Cinematic Dramatic logo to listen to the new episode

The Fighter, Brighton Rock and Sanctum 3D are our cinematic ports of call this week. Me and Byron Pitt also discuss the new Superman (Henry Cavill), the updates on The Dark Knight Rises and the usual share of What We've Watched viewing.

So good you don't have to watch with 3D glasses on.

Cinematic Dramatic 2x23 - LISTEN NOW!

The latest episode of Cinematic Dramatic, from Geek Planet Online, is now available to download.

Click the Cinematic Dramatic logo to listen to the new episode

Tangled 3D, The Mechanic and Hereafter come under intense viewing. Me and Byron Pitt also discuss the Oscar nominations, Red State and share a whole heap of What We've Watched viewing.

Plus there's also a chance to win a pair of tickets to the Prince Charles Theare's double bill of Best Worst Movie and Troll 2. 

Go on, have a listen. You could win something!

Don’t get checked into The Ward, it’s already dull.

The Ward (2010)

Director: John Carpenter

Stars: Amber Heard, Jared Harris, Lyndsy Fonseca, Sali Sayler

Me and ghost horror films don’t get on well. It’s not that I’m shit scared of watching them. They just don’t really seem to catch my imagination, excitement, and enthrallment. Very rare cases do.

There’s nothing different about most of them  especially when most of the reasons they lurk about is from being the deceased remains of someone who was wronged or evil. Or both.  Or maybe, a Scooby-doo villain.

A good movie memory was when I watched What Lies Beneath when I was 15. Scared the fucking shit out of me in the cinema, perhaps I didn’t expect it but hey I remember the viewing experience fondly. It may not stand the test of time, sure. But when I look back at that film, I have happy memories of good cinema experiences.

And that’s the thing with most ghost films. I try to find the positives in them but when they’re all about loud shunting noises, annoying characters, and a repetitive ending. I don’t tend to go out wanting to see them. I remember watching The Grudge US (hated it), Reeker (hated it), Boogeyman (hated it) to name a few and still don’t find these sort of films entertaining. It doesn’t make me want to go watch the original Ringu, or Grudge, or similar films. I know I should but when I have repeated bad experiences, it’s not a genre that screams out to me immediately to watch.

And I’m sorry for that god awful pun.

And The Ward is yet another aggravatingly bad experience.

I’ll be honest. I’m not a familiar voyeur of John Carpenter films and this is probably the wrong one to start viewing if I wanted to get into watching the films of a very renowned and respected horror director. But I think I really should have just asked someone to borrow their copy of The Thing, I’d likely enjoy that a bit more. Probably tons more than The Ward. 

The problem with The Ward is that it’s uninspiring, unoriginal, and quite frankly…dull. It’s like it’s trying to mesh Girl Interrupted with Identity with say any recent ghost movies. And it fails. It splats against the small hole it was supposed to be melded into in the first place. It sadly plays out more like a TV movie than anything else considering Carpenter’s association with Masters of Horror.

It’s a group of mentally unstable girls locked up in a ward where the ghost of one of their former patients is stalking and killing the girls one by one. Leaving the naturally sane, yet also unbalanced, good girl played by Amber Heard, to question what on earth is going on. Obviously, like all normal horror tales, no one is inclined to believe her including the head doctor played by Jared Harris.

It really doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happens. 

Then they decide to be really, really, smart and throw in a twist that is eye rolling bad.

Then they add that traditional never ending ending. 

Well done, everyone involved. You’ve just annoyed me for another 90 minutes.

I really don’t want to be mean but when I’ve seen it all before, it’s hard to be positive about my experience with The Ward. The acting isn’t as bad as other films. Amber Heard and Jared Harris actually are really watchable in the flick. It’s just annoying that the same potholes of horror logic just come into effect and considering this is from a revered director who brought us the original Halloween (not the Zombie crap), The Thing and other cult titles, it just feels disappointing.

Can someone lend me the copy of The Thing now and show me how good Carpenter is, please?