Can you smell The Rock going Faster?

Faster (2010)

Director: George Tillman Jr.

Stars: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Billy Bob Thornton, Oliver Jackson-Cohen

It was only a matter of time before Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson decided to return to the action fold. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s creditable for someone who started out as a wrestler looking to stretch his acting skills a little. Southland Tales, Be Cool to name a few plus those silly kid films, Dwayne’s been using that great charisma and presence in different ways.

But everyone just wants to see him kick ass. He’s back for Wrestlemania in April so it’s about damn time he returned to layeth the smacketh down. And with April nearly here, you’ve got two barrel loads of his action skills. First up is Faster.

Though to call Faster an action film is an outright lie. It’s more of a revenge thriller with a perpetual sense of continuous movement.

From the first moment you see Johnson’s Driver pacing about angrily in his jail cell, you get that theme of always going forward in the revenge tale. Within moments, he gets out of jail and just starts jogging down desert roads to find a car and a swish looking snub revolver. Then Driver goes to layeth the smacketh down on those who’ve wronged him and killed his brother in the process years ago.

While Driver goes off on this vengeful rampage, there’s a Cop (Billy Bob Thornton) trying to follow the murderous crime spree and also a Killer (Jackson-Cohen) a multi-millionaire who has decided to excel himself at bumping people off. They start tracking Driver’s movements and eventually like all good revenge films, their paths will cross.

Now while I don’t mind an array of colourful and OTT characters in this sort of B-movie fluff, the fact that these are three very different characters makes it a bit of an oddity. You have Johnson who is supposed to be the real driving force of the movie, the wronged man committing acts of horrific violence against those who wrong him and seemingly satisfied he’s walking the dark path. Thorton is a ex-junkie cop who’s days near to retirement and trying to provide for his family. And Jackson-Cohen seems to be emitting a mid-life crisis for a billionaire who’s done everything and wants to satisfy his ticks before marrying his beautiful girlfriend. The balance of characters is just weird here in this triangle.

There is this theme of redemption and forgiveness that runs throughout and that’s fine here. But I still think the mixture of these three characters is a little too much.

I personally would have liked to see things just kept focused on Johnson and it would have been a great dark revenge thriller. Johnson has the presence and his small amount of dialogue lets him convey emotion more visually in his facial reactions and he’s still the best of the WWE bunch to ever grace the big screen. It’s a nice role to get him back into the genre we all know he belongs in.

While I’ve got no issue with Thornton’s presence, only to add some sort of gravitas to a usually cardboard character, and while I know that Jackson-Cohen’s British hitman might grate some people, Faster would have worked so much better focused on one character. Driver, it’s actual main character.

Faster is visually pleasing and it has its entertaining (even though predictable) moments but when the main character has to play third fiddle to the other characters, it seems a bit diluted in the end and the revenge tale becomes somewhat like a weird urban dream.

Well, on the plus side, it isn’t named Faster: Action Revenge Film like Dwayne’s next production.

Archipelago - The Middle Class activity of watching paint dry...sort of....

Archipelago (2011)

Director: Joanna Hogg

Stars: Tom Hiddlestone, Kate Fay, Amy Lloyd

I’m going to come out and say it right now, I don’t know who out there would enjoy Archipelago. I don’t know anyone close who I could recommend it too and when people at work have asked me about it, I put on a brave smile and say it’s “interesting.”

Only during two scenes does Archipelago becomes “interesting” but when the majority of the film you’re put as a standing observer to the breakdown of this middle class family and their issues, you don’t really feel engaged in the film.

And I’m not trying to say that Archipelago is bollocks because it isn’t and I know that people out there have had different reactions to it. A friend of mine is quite to say that film is subjective and everyone’s viewing experience is different.

We differ here already. Byron Pitt can’t stop thinking about it. I’m trying to recall what actually happened.

This is a very very very slow film and is designed for viewers who have patience with their cinematic screenings. I am perfectly fine with slow burning films providing that there is something to be engaged with. 

For me, I just don’t get it with Archipelago.  There are interesting themes of class between the social interactions of Tom Hiddlestone’s Edward character with the hired chef Rose (played by Amy Lloyd ) and Edward’s family turning their nose up at the simple request of asking a hired hand to eat with them. There’s also difficult family dynamics of broken communication and the eventual realization that the words unsaid and actions unseen speak more than the simple conversation over dinner.

Now if this is your thing, Archipelago is something to reap in. Byron Pitt has found elements to draw out and think about. My trouble is that the slow pace, the unlikeability of nearly every character and the fact that not much seems to go on is the nail in the coffin to me. I would have been open to the film more if I felt more connected to the characters and the scenario. 

But however simplistic and beautifully minimalistic Joanna Hogg has presented this film, I simply cannot connect. only during two heated conversations during a family trip to a deserted restaurant and at their holiday home debating the future of one of the members of the family does Archipelago become interesting. Perhaps if it was staged for the theatre it might have been a more rewarding viewing and its themes more accessible to take in and evaluate.

However, when it’s nearly two hours long and very isolated to its own devices, I rather be somewhere else than dealing with this troubled and miscommunicated family.

Cinematic Dramatic 2x25 - Listen Now!

The latest episode of Cinematic Dramatic, from Geek Planet Online, is now available to download.

Click the Cinematic Dramatic logo to listen to the new episode

Animal Kingdom, True Grit and Paul all get The Dramatic review treatment as well. Byron's also checked out Biutiful...which he won't be getting the three hours of his life watching it back. I also check out, out of morbid childhood cruiousity, Yogi Bear.

Well, Byron did tell me not to watch Biutiful!

Cinematic Dramatic 2x23 - LISTEN NOW!

The latest episode of Cinematic Dramatic, from Geek Planet Online, is now available to download.

Click the Cinematic Dramatic logo to listen to the new episode

Tangled 3D, The Mechanic and Hereafter come under intense viewing. Me and Byron Pitt also discuss the Oscar nominations, Red State and share a whole heap of What We've Watched viewing.

Plus there's also a chance to win a pair of tickets to the Prince Charles Theare's double bill of Best Worst Movie and Troll 2. 

Go on, have a listen. You could win something!

Don’t get checked into The Ward, it’s already dull.

The Ward (2010)

Director: John Carpenter

Stars: Amber Heard, Jared Harris, Lyndsy Fonseca, Sali Sayler

Me and ghost horror films don’t get on well. It’s not that I’m shit scared of watching them. They just don’t really seem to catch my imagination, excitement, and enthrallment. Very rare cases do.

There’s nothing different about most of them  especially when most of the reasons they lurk about is from being the deceased remains of someone who was wronged or evil. Or both.  Or maybe, a Scooby-doo villain.

A good movie memory was when I watched What Lies Beneath when I was 15. Scared the fucking shit out of me in the cinema, perhaps I didn’t expect it but hey I remember the viewing experience fondly. It may not stand the test of time, sure. But when I look back at that film, I have happy memories of good cinema experiences.

And that’s the thing with most ghost films. I try to find the positives in them but when they’re all about loud shunting noises, annoying characters, and a repetitive ending. I don’t tend to go out wanting to see them. I remember watching The Grudge US (hated it), Reeker (hated it), Boogeyman (hated it) to name a few and still don’t find these sort of films entertaining. It doesn’t make me want to go watch the original Ringu, or Grudge, or similar films. I know I should but when I have repeated bad experiences, it’s not a genre that screams out to me immediately to watch.

And I’m sorry for that god awful pun.

And The Ward is yet another aggravatingly bad experience.

I’ll be honest. I’m not a familiar voyeur of John Carpenter films and this is probably the wrong one to start viewing if I wanted to get into watching the films of a very renowned and respected horror director. But I think I really should have just asked someone to borrow their copy of The Thing, I’d likely enjoy that a bit more. Probably tons more than The Ward. 

The problem with The Ward is that it’s uninspiring, unoriginal, and quite frankly…dull. It’s like it’s trying to mesh Girl Interrupted with Identity with say any recent ghost movies. And it fails. It splats against the small hole it was supposed to be melded into in the first place. It sadly plays out more like a TV movie than anything else considering Carpenter’s association with Masters of Horror.

It’s a group of mentally unstable girls locked up in a ward where the ghost of one of their former patients is stalking and killing the girls one by one. Leaving the naturally sane, yet also unbalanced, good girl played by Amber Heard, to question what on earth is going on. Obviously, like all normal horror tales, no one is inclined to believe her including the head doctor played by Jared Harris.

It really doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happens. 

Then they decide to be really, really, smart and throw in a twist that is eye rolling bad.

Then they add that traditional never ending ending. 

Well done, everyone involved. You’ve just annoyed me for another 90 minutes.

I really don’t want to be mean but when I’ve seen it all before, it’s hard to be positive about my experience with The Ward. The acting isn’t as bad as other films. Amber Heard and Jared Harris actually are really watchable in the flick. It’s just annoying that the same potholes of horror logic just come into effect and considering this is from a revered director who brought us the original Halloween (not the Zombie crap), The Thing and other cult titles, it just feels disappointing.

Can someone lend me the copy of The Thing now and show me how good Carpenter is, please?

The coin flipping Dilemma of…um…The Dilemma

The Dilemma (2011)

Director: Ron Howard

Stars: Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Jennifer Connelly, Winona Ryder

I was in a bit of a muddle on Friday night. I had finished worked, The King’s Speech and Black Swan technically decimated our cinema for another night and I had finished my shift. Sure, it was 11pm, but I thought I’d unwind by going watch a film at the late show multiplex a mere 20 minutes away.

But the problem in my head was what I was going to watch. I was intending to see The Ward (which I have done and will review later) but wasn’t in the mood for a horror. I wanted something light and my choices came down to either Morning Glory (where grumpy Harrison Ford makes me chuckle) or The Dilemma (A Ron Howard directed comedy…hmmm…intriguing and I had not seen a trailer either).

I couldn’t make a clear cut decision so I did what any filmgoer would do in this situation.

Flip a coin.

Heads, I watch Morning Glory. Tails, The Dilemma.

It landed tails.

So here are my thoughts of The Dilemma. On the surface looks like a typical, usually not that very funny, Vince Vaughn comedy. This time, he’s a unlucky plebe who spots the wife of his best friend, played by Kevin James, getting it off with Channing “the male block of wood” Tatum. Suffice to say, the dilemma (see what they did there?) of the situation for Vince is does he tell Kevin James what he saw? And what will happen if he does? Will it scupper their motorcar building dreams? Will it prevent Queen Latifah from getting a female hard-on?

Yes, that last line is what the Oscar nominated Queen Latifah continually spouts out in this film. We’ll get to that soon.

What’s odd about The Dilemma is at times it’s typically Vince Vaughn fair. There’s loud screaming, pratfalls, idiotic spouts of behaviour, and the world’s worse anniversary speech to give to a girlfriends parents celebrating 40 years together. If you like that sort of stuff, you’ll be happy. And how it’s done here, I didn’t mind it. I did laugh a good laugh ratio as Byron Pitt would put it. It makes up for some of the past crap Vaughn has done….Couple Retreat maybe? Four Christmases? Yeah, The Dilemma is head and shoulders above those.

Then at times, The Dilemma veers into drama territory – you’d expect it from Ron Howard I guess. You get these dark moments of problematic pasts like a gambling addiction, failed marriages, and it’s at that time, you feel the film is strangely unbalanced at times. Trying to market your film as a flat out comedy and then thrown in the occasional moment of reflective thinking and crying to God in a more sombre tone is quite a curveball. Some audiences might like it. I think it tries to make itself different from the norm and I respect its attempt to do so.

But when your counter balancing it with comedy that is completely out of place and characters that belong in an Apatow clan film, The Dilemma is still worryingly uneven. And that’s a shame. The central performances are likeable. Vaughn and James make a good double act. Winona Ryder is building on her recent performances of evil or batty woman here. Jennifer Connelly is normal here. Nothing special. Channing Tatum plays up to that block of wood character nicely.

I wouldn’t whole heartily recommend it. Perhaps to all those curious, give it a rental.  If you’re looking for a flat out comedy, find a flat out comedy. The Dilemma provides 50% of it. The other 50% is something from another film.

Oscar noms tomorrow, time to start guessing!

Now, regardless of how silly many feel the Oscars are, I like them.  I like the prestige and I like the fact that films coming out around this time tend to be some choice morsels of cinematic consumption.

Or Season Of The Witch…but that’s not important right now.

So,  here are my predicted picks for an Oscar nomination tomorrow. Films I haven’t seen are marked with a * and I am going on the current momentum built up from other awards and reviews.

Anyway, check out my predictions, come back Tuesday and watch me look baffled if they pull another Globes bout of film madness. If The Tourist creeps into Best Picture…something’s wrong indeed.

Best Film (No particular Order)

The King’s Speech / The Social Network / Inception / Black Swan / The Kids Are All Right / The Fighter* / Toy Story 3 / 127 Hours / True Grit* / Blue Valentine*

Wildcard surprises : The Town / Winter’s Bone

Best Actor

Colin Firth (King’s Speech) / James Franco (127 Hours) / Jessie Eisenberg (Social Network) / Javier Bardem (Biutiful*) / Ryan Gosling (Blue Valentine*)

Wildcard surprises: Jeff Bridges (True Grit*) or Marky Mark Walhberg (The Fighter*)

Best Actress

Natalie Portman (Black Swan) / Annett Benning (Kids are All Right) / Julianne Moore (Kids Are All Right) / Jennifer Lawerence (Winter’s Bone) / Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole*)

Wildcard surprises: Lesley Manville (Another Year*) or Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine*)

Best Director

David Fincher (Social Network) / Christopher Nolan (Inception) / Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan) / Tom Hooper (King’s Speech) / David O’Russell (The Fighter*)

Wildcard surprises: The Coen Brothers (True Grit*) / Lisa Cholodenko (The Kids Are All Right)

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale (The Fighter*) / Gefforey Rush (King’s Speech) / Mark Ruffalo (The Kids Are All Right) / Andrew Garfield (Social Network) / John Hawkes (Winter’s Bone)

Wildcard surprises: Jeremy Renner (The Town)

Best Supporting Actress

Helena Bonham Carter (King’s Speech) / Amy Adams (The Fighter*) / Melissa Leo (The Fighter*) / Hailee Steinfield (True Grit*) / Jackie Weaver (Animal Kingdom*)

Wildcard surprises: Mila Kunis or Barbara Hershey for Black Swan

Cinematic Dramatic 2x22 - The Green Hornet - LISTEN NOW!

The latest episode of Cinematic Dramatic, from Geek Planet Online, is now available to download.

Click the Cinematic Dramatic logo to listen to the new episode

The Green Hornet is reviewed, Byron Pitt fumes that he hasn't been nominated for Sky's movie blog of the year, Battle: LA has a brand new trailer and I watched The King of Fighters.

Enjoy!

The Green Hornet: It’s a helpful sting for the masses

The Green Hornet 3D (2011)

Director: Michel Gondry

Stars: Seth Rogen, Jay Cho, Christoph Waltz, Cameron Diaz

January is widely acknowledged by cinephiles as either two things when it comes to summing up what appears at the multiplexes.

1. The Awards Season (Example - The King’s Speech)
2. Dumping Ground for shite or below-the-radar  films. (Example – Season of The Witch or Henry’s Crime)

When you look at it from a neutral point of view, there isn’t really much joy to be found for your general cinema audience. A general audience would steer clear of The King’s Speech because it doesn’t look appealing as a mainstream film. A general audience would likely steer clear of films like Season of The Witch due to its poor reception and maybe films like Henry’s Crime because they have little or no idea what the film is about.

I didn’t know about Henry’s Crime until last week when Keanu Reeves showed up on Graham Norton to say he's made a new film. That’s how under the radar these films can be dumped in January.

Audiences should be thankful, somewhat, for The Green Hornet. Based on the 30s radio show and 60s television serial, The Green Hornet emerges as the first mainstream blockbuster of 2011 that will likely cater to that general audience looking for something that satisfy them by explosions, action, laughs and eye candy. I don’t expect everyone to enjoy The Green Hornet but when it’s either an prestige film or a schlocky piece audiences can easily tell is shit, a lot of people would likely bite the bullet and go on the crime fighting adventure.

The Green Hornet comes, finally, to cinemas after a long production process. Talent like Stephen Chow was involved to star and direct before dropping out before Gondry took the director's chair. Nicolas Cage was suppose to take part as the film’s baddie before Christoph Waltz jumped in at the last minute.  It also has had the issue of shifting release dates, originally due in 2010 before being thrown into the early part of 2011. Then it got a 3D conversion. I’ll talk on that later. But when you consider the problems the film’s had in its conception, it doesn’t sound like The Green Hornet is filling movie experts with confidence. 

Bad film then? No, anything but. I think The Green Hornet is a very good slice of popcorn entertainment.

The best way I could really sum up Green Hornet is think if The Apatow clan made a superhero crime fighting movie. This is one possible outcome. Written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, writers of Superbad and Pineapple Express, it essentially meshes their ideas for comedy and action here. And occasionally, it works. Rogen and fellow co-star Cho as Britt Reid and Kato respectfully have this very odd, mostly amusing, working relationship. Almost like a daft bromance of crime fighters. If you are fans of Rogen and Goldberg’s work, you should feel at home here.

But, like I said, it won’t be for everyone. If you don’t find Rogen amusing, this could push things to breaking point. He does tweek the hero motif a little, making Reid a bit of a douchebag despite his best intentions. I suppose it makes a change from the always heroic moments of valour but it’s up to you how much you like Rogen.

Cho, the man who follows in Bruce Lee, as Kato is a good straight partner for Rogen to have. He’s likable, carries himself well (even with his broken English) into a fun character. Kato’s fighting sequences are especially fun to watch with the Gondry edge here and there. 

There are some corking action sequences. One could argue that they are a little over the top. Especially the finale where a lot of cars get wreck, things explode and half of a building gets wrecked but I think it’s nothing badly out of place for this outlandish tale of crime fighters. It needed solid action to work and it’s presented very, very well here in The Green Hornet.

Another plus is Christoph Waltz, the film’s nemesis Chudnofsky, essentially is playing Hans Landa with a mid-life crisis. Not very original for the actor but at least he adds comic relief when he becomes almost threatened by the lack of fear he craves from his enemies. If I was offered the choice of Oscar winners, I’d take Waltz in this role over Cage.

There are some issues with The Green Hornet. Michel Gordy’s direction isn’t anything special. Kato-vision and the odd visual flair help spice up things but it’s a pretty generic looking crime fighting film. Nothing that really screams wow. It’s polished, it looks like the money’s been spent on the film but it just doesn’t have the visual edge you’d see on something like Be Kind Rewind or Eternal Sunshine. 

Cameron Diaz is a little bit wasted as the object of affection. You’d think they do something a little bit more with a talented actress and her plotline. But you can’t have everything can you.

Then there’s the 3D which, honestly, was never needed in the first place. That’s my true issue with The Green Hornet. I enjoyed it, I really did and I would recommend it to anyone wanting to have some slam bang fun on a Saturday night. But why doesn’t Sony have the balls just to release this in 2D? It’s a real shame but that is the state of the world film industry though. Bollocks.

But these nibbles aside, The Green Hornet makes very entertaining viewing if you’re willing to give it a chance. It’s hardly a film that deserved to be dumped in this dangerous time of the year – especially when The King’s Speech is dominating everything.