I was at work yesterday where another delivery of film related posters came in to be opened, sorted, and put up if they were important. One tube I opened up had a poster for Fast Five, as everyone knows by know the fifth Fast and Furious film. But low and behold what those clever buggers at Universal Pictures have done….
Fast Five has been renamed Fast and Furious 5: Rio Heist
HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE WE SUPPOSE TO BE?
They’ve released teaser trailers saying Fast Five and then suddenly one day in the marketing office suddenly hit a block in the road.
Marketing Executive 1: “Hang on folks! Brainwave! The British….they don’t know what Fast Five means? How are they supposed to know it’s the fifth Fast and Furious film set in Rio where Vin and co are doing a massive heist?”
Marketing Executive 2: “Call it Fast and Furious 5: Rio Heist?”
Marketing Executive 1: “You smart bastard! That’s perfect!”
This is what pisses me off half the time when it comes to releasing films in other English speaking countries. The changes sometimes just don’t make any bloody sense what so ever.
Live Free or Die Hard was changed to Die Hard 4.0 – why? Are we not clever enough to notice through the trailers and marketing that it was about computer hackers?
The Rundown was changed to Welcome To The Jungle – why? Are we not supposed to know what a rundown is? You know, running down the important information? Do we need a title to know that we’re going to a jungle in this film?
I mean even Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone changing to The Sorcerer’s stone sounds silly. I bet American audiences would have the smarts to understand the world Philosopher.
Okay, if said film is foreign in a non-English language speaking form, then yes renaming the film can help sometimes.
But why? Oh gods, why, are we considered such muppets that Fast Five is renamed to the most simplest of titles.
Hollywood clearly thinks we’re stupid.
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