Iain doesn’t care that Stone Cold Steve Austin is The Stranger.

The Stranger (2010)

Director: Robert Liberman

Stars: Steve Austin, Erica Cerra, Adam Beach

About a week ago, I posted a blog review of Hunt To Kill, a cheesy actioner if not mildly entertaining at times. These were good signs for Steve Austin films. So, cue another bored night, Cinematic Dramatic had been recorded and I thought “You know what, I’m in the mood for something silly, let’s go with The Stranger.”

The film tells the story of an amnesiac FBI agent (Austin) who’s on the run, doing the occasional job, trying to remember what happened to him. Other FBI agents are trying to find him so they can crack the case of Russian and Mexican drug lords and a spat of missing money.  FBI Agent Stone Cold Steve Austin is your only hope for answers.

And I can’t give two f**ks.

Now, if The Stranger was nicely paced, had silly moments of entertainment then it would be another experience similar to Hunt To Kill. The problem with The Stranger is that it’s dull. Dull, dull, dull. The story goes at a painfully slow pace. Sure, there are moments where Austin opens up cans of whoop ass and goes to town but between all that is the usual cliché riddled tedium of FBI agents, money, and betrayals.  Betcha someone wrote the script in a day.

It’s not hard to guess what happened and it’s not hard to guess who the bad guy is.

There is absolutely nothing engaging or entertaining about anything The Stranger offers. Hard To Kill was more entertaining simply because of its simplicity and actual bad guys that weren’t bad to watch. Annoying, possibly. It might have had Gary Daniels, yeah. But Hard To Kill was a lot more fun to watch than an amnesiac Stone Cold Steve Austin traipsing about going “I don’t remember.” There’s a moment where Steve Austin is told by people monitoring him that he goes place to place, different names, different jobs. That would have been more interesting to see. Not random people talking about moles in the FBI.

Then there’s a god damn sequel set up that’s f**king retarded and aggravating after things have been revealed.

If you really love the guy, rent it. Anyone else not fussed, avoid and possible go out and rent Hunt To Kill or maybe Damage. They’re much better films. Trust me.

This is more entertaining….click the picture to see the funny short the image comes from on Funny Or Die.